Christmas in the Philippines: why it lasts four months, and how to celebrate with someone you love

In most countries, Christmas starts in December. In the Philippines, it starts the moment the calendar reaches September. The "ber months" (September, October, November and December) are when Christmas songs play in the malls, lanterns go up in windows, and families start planning who will come home. The season does not really end until January.

If you are dating someone from the Philippines, or hoping to, understanding Filipino Christmas is one of the best ways to understand what matters to them: family, faith, food and being together. Here is what to expect, and how to be part of it.

Why the ber months matter

The Philippines has one of the longest Christmas seasons in the world. Part of the reason is faith: most Filipinos are Christian, and Christmas is the most important celebration of the year. Part of it is family: for millions of Filipinos working abroad, December is the time they come home, and the months before are full of planning and saving. And part of it is simply joy. After a long year, the season is something everyone looks forward to.

Do not be surprised if your partner sends you a Christmas song in September. It is not a joke. It is the start of the season.

The traditions you will hear about

Simbang Gabi. From 16 to 24 December, many Filipinos attend nine dawn or evening masses, known as Simbang Gabi. Many believe that completing all nine brings a wish true. After mass, families and friends share hot drinks and rice cakes such as bibingka and puto bumbong from stalls outside the church.

The parol. The star-shaped Christmas lantern, the parol, hangs in homes, streets and offices across the country. It represents the star that guided the Three Kings. The city of San Fernando in Pampanga is famous for its giant, electrically lit lanterns and its December lantern festival.

Noche Buena. On Christmas Eve, families gather, often after midnight mass, for the Noche Buena feast. Expect Christmas ham, queso de bola (a round of Edam cheese), spaghetti with a sweet sauce, lechon (roast pig) in many homes, and far more food than anyone can eat.

Mano po and aguinaldo. Children and younger relatives greet elders by taking their hand and touching it to their forehead, saying mano po, a sign of respect. Godparents, called ninong and ninang, traditionally give their godchildren a small gift of money, the aguinaldo.

Monito monita. Offices, schools and friend groups often run a Secret Santa style gift exchange, sometimes over several weeks, with a theme each week ("something soft", "something sweet").

The season ends in January. Many families keep celebrating until the Feast of the Three Kings in early January, and some until the feast of the Santo Niño later in the month.

Christmas and OFW families

For families with an overseas Filipino worker, Christmas carries extra meaning. Many OFWs send a balikbayan box, a large box packed with gifts, clothes and food for the family, months ahead so it arrives in time. Others plan their home leave around December, after a year or more away.

If your partner works abroad, the season can be both happy and hard. Being far from family at Christmas is one of the loneliest parts of OFW life. A call on Christmas Eve, Philippine time, means a great deal. Read more in our guide to OFW dating and relationships.

If you are dating someone from the Philippines

Expect family to come first. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are usually spent with family, often a big one. If you are invited, it is a sign that you matter. If you are not invited yet, it is not a rejection; it may simply be too early.

Be patient with time and attention. December is busy: masses, reunions, cooking, visiting relatives. Your partner may reply less often. That is normal.

Join in, even from far away. Ask about their family's traditions, learn a Christmas greeting (Maligayang Pasko means Merry Christmas), and plan a video call during Noche Buena so you can meet the family on screen.

Faith matters. You do not need to share their religion, but showing respect, for example by joining a Simbang Gabi mass if you are visiting, is appreciated.

For more on Filipino customs, see our guide to dating in the Philippines.

Gift ideas that feel personal

You do not need to spend much. Thoughtful beats expensive:

• Something for the family, such as good chocolates or a food hamper for the Noche Buena table. Remembering the parents is noticed.
• Something from your country, such as a local sweet, a scarf, or a small souvenir from your town.
• A handwritten card. In a world of messages, it stands out.
• An experience together for when you next meet: a trip, a class, a special dinner.

If you are sending a parcel to the Philippines, use a reputable courier and send early. December deliveries are slow.

Visiting the Philippines in December

December is a wonderful and very busy time to visit:

• Book early. Flights to Manila, Cebu and Davao are at their most expensive and most crowded around Christmas and New Year.
• Plan for traffic. Manila traffic in the weeks before Christmas is famous for a reason. Leave plenty of time to get anywhere.
• Book your own accommodation, especially for a first visit, and meet in public places first.
• Ask before you assume. Your partner may want you to meet the family on a particular day, or may need to spend certain days alone with them.

Our first-date safety tips for Manila and Bangkok are worth reading before any trip.

A word on Christmas scams

Scammers know that the holidays make people generous. Be careful with:

• "Your parcel is stuck at customs" messages asking you to pay a fee. Fake courier and customs messages are especially common in the weeks before Christmas.
• Holiday emergencies. Someone you have not met who suddenly needs money for a ticket home, a hospital bill or a family crisis at Christmas.
• Gift card requests. No genuine partner asks for payment in gift cards.

The rule never changes: never send money to someone you have not met in person. Read our guide on how to spot a romance scam.

Celebrate the season on AsianLove

Whether you are in Manila, Cebu, Dubai, Hong Kong or Oslo this Christmas, AsianLove is free to join and free to message. Meet singles in the Philippines, add your travel plans if you are visiting over the holidays, and start a conversation. Maligayang Pasko!